The Friend Trail - Where to Start?

I met D just over a year and a half ago and they've been the happiest I've had in I don't know how long and long may it continue. We have a lovely flat (although it's a bitch to keep warm!), we have those gorgeous regular evenings in with a film snuggled up on the sofa with a glass of red wine and popcorn. We go to bed, 99.9% of the time together when D isn't working away from home. D goes out with the boys on a Saturday afternoon to watch the footie with his pals and have a few pints. I think this is fantastic. I just wish I had a few friends of my own!

To fill you in, I moved to Scotland in 2005 when I was still married. Prior to that we had lived in London for five years - I'd had a very good job in the City and had friends that I could go out with at the weekend for a drink or dancing. The Psycho is from Scotland originally and when he stated that we would be moving back I saw no reason to challenge him (stupidly!) as he was my husband. I know, this is a very old fashioned view, but you have no clue what sort of relationship I was in. I knew it would move me away from all my family, friends, a job I loved, but I felt that he was my husband and I should at least give it a go. So, we moved. My wonderful job in London translated into nothing up here as the job was so unique and the skills were not easily transferable. I ended up in a succession of dead-end admin jobs that I loathed as I could only find temporary work. I was never in one place long enough to make friends and The Psycho wanted me home pretty much straight from work. I had gone from London's lively metropolitan city, to a town in Scotland that was claustraphobic and made me feel uneasy. The Psycho had his football. I had knitting in front of a range of repeats on TV.

So, when I met Del, I didn't have girlfriends I could call up for a drink or a coffee. I had also moved town so it was in effect a clean start. I met his friends really early on and they're all wonderful - people I could spend time with although they are slightly younger than us. Turns out that even this is complicated and not as straight forward as it sounds. I was starting to think that maybe I would be welcomed into the female circle (as you would sort of expect) as they seemed nice. D's best friend is engaged to one of the girls in the group. Her best friend is D's ex. Shouldn't really have been an issue as D and his ex split six months prior to me meeting him. Ooooh, how wrong was I? A year and a half on I'm still unwelcome in the girls circle because of this fact. We don't get invited out to parties or get togethers where she is. Now, we're not talking about teenagers here, we're talking of girls of about 25-26. I could kinda see the point if I'd been involved in the intial break up, but it has nothing to do with me.

I joined the local book group at Waterstones, but this was full mainly of middle aged people or pensioners. I don't feel able to go for a drink on my own to a bar - I tried and failed. This is really frustrating. London was different as friendships seem to come about so easily. I even joined an online group of women who were looking for the same things as I was - turns out they're all middle aged as well. I'm not ready to make middle aged friends and I know how callous this sounds, but I still like to go dancing, I like to go out and get drunk occassionally, I like to be spontaneous and do childish things.

So, the big question is, how does a girl make friends in a new town? All suggestions gratefully welcomed, seriously!

A Change - Already?

I'd not been happy with my blog title since I started, but it did allow me to get my butt in gear and start the blog. After today's ranty post, I knew that I couldn't keep Drool Piggy. Drool Piggy's and Psycho's have nothing in common in my world.

So, goodbye Drool Piggy, and hello Tangent Gal - much more appropriate! Have I done the right thing??

Am I 29 going on 13??

I'ts probably not the time to be blogging right now as I'm jumping up and down and not for exercise! In fact, I've opened a packet of oreos as I'm hoping they might placate me a little.

Ok, i'm going to apologise yet again, but this is because of The Psycho... and his friend Bunny Boiler. Well, go me, another name for the lexicon *sigh*. I'm beginning to feel bad as this was supposed to be a new blog and it's just "fantastic" that my ex-husband decides to make his presence known at exactly the same time - his timing was always impeccable. It just makes it sound as if my life with D is secondary and it's far from that. In fact, D is just driving home from a job down south and should be home in about an hour and I can't wait! (I think this entry is really gonna be Tangent Gal stuf!)

So, back to the hump of the day: The Psycho via the Bunny Boiler. I've known Bunny Boiler for I'd guess two years. She is part of a community I used to be active in and has always been friends with The Psycho. After we seperated, I didn't hear from anyone in the old community until last week. I logged into MSN and there was her add request. To be honest, i didn't press accept straight away and thought about it, thinking what it could mean if I added her as I knew she still talked to The Psycho. I didn't listen to my intuition, pressed accept and we got talking. I challenged her as to why she had added me after all this time - she said she'd been through something similar divorce wise recently and thought we had that in common - that and she'd been dating The Psycho until about six months ago when he called it off, citing that I was back in his life. I need to add here, this this is NOT the case, I have been safely tucked up with D since I left leading a much happier, healthier life. So, we started talking about where the relationship failed and that I was looking for a divorce. Don't get me wrong, I want one, but it's not the end of the world if I have to wait the five years to achieve it. This evening, I decided to check out the old community, as there it was: a glaringly obvious post from The Psycho letting all and sundry know that I had been talking to Bunny Boiler (not directly, but I've not talked to anyone else!) and once again, I'M the bad guy! I don't know why i allow myself to be dragged into these childish goings on. I'm in my very late 20's, they're both in their 40's for petes sake!

Time to breathe. I need the courage to remove her from MSN and my social networking list of friends - I will not be a part of this. I will not be part of a group who will only listen to one side, who have ulterior motives, who are not real friends. Life is just too short.

I've just taken a breathe and re-read my post. I sound like a 13 year old. Someone, please slap me?

Do Men Ever Really Grow Up?

Do men ever grow out of being little boys?? This seems to have been a theme I keep crashing into over the last week. Let me explain:

I have an ex-husband, The Psycho who, although in his mid forties, is pushing this theme to it's limits. Before I carry on, I ought to confirm that I am not one of those "hurt-by-a-man-so-all-men-are-the anti-christ" type of woman. I'm currently in a very loving, caring relationship with D who happens to be of the male variety. So, The Psycho: I'm trying, desperately, to get a divorce. This really should be very simple as we have no children, no house, no financials between us and no pensions to quibble over. Where we are, either one of us can put paperwork into the local sheriff court and divorce should be granted - easy! Not if you happen to be The Psycho. Let's just say, he won't give me a divorce until something is settled that is fully his responsiblity and has no impact on divorce proceedings. Toys out of pram! He won't take my calls, he won't respond to emails and is currently sulking. Well, if he wants to behave like a child, so be it - I have decided to no longer pay him any attention as this is what he wants. I'm quite happy to sit out the five years that is required if needs be.

This theme hasn't ended though: what is it with boys and their toys??? D has an XBOX360, wii, playstation 2, game cube and has just bought a BIG tv - I haven't included sky with all the channels and the DVD player as I guess they're pretty standard these days. Ok, the tv looks great, but our old tv was still ok, still worked and wasn't in need of repair and actually isn't all that old. I was also chatting to a friend online and she mentioned that her other half was recovering from man-flu and was tucked up in front of his XBOX playing a game. In some respects, I really shouldn't moan - D is very tech savvy and when i'm on a marathon SITC run and the DVD player stops working, I just have to call out and he's there in his shining armour, ready to press a few buttons that I have trouble understanding! I also think my dad is finding his inner-little-boy - DB and hubby bought him a playstation for christmas and my mum cannot prise him of it as he's discovered car games. The funny thing is, he gets so irate at it until we gently remind him that it's "only a game"!

I suppose all men are different and are all little boys really still to some degree. I think I've learnt that sometimes it can be destructive (in the case of The Psycho) and at other times rather handy (in the case of D).

Drool Piggys Have Feelings Too - well they do when they're about to hit 30!

Well, after many years of blogging I gave it up for a year or two and have taken the brave decision to start again. I think because this is a very new and very different chapter in my life it seemed apt to start over elsewhere. Don't get me wrong, I've looked over nearly five years worth of posting and can't believe that that person was me, but there you go, it just proves that Drool Piggy's have feelings too - to me anyway!

This is a pledge to myself: to keep this blog going and to be true to myself - oh, and to protect all identities, don't want to get into hot water!

So, to begin: I'm now verging on 30 - a figure that before was just a number but is becoming more real the closer I get to the big three zero. I have decided that, for fun only, I should be brave and put a list together of all the things I'd like to do before I'm 30... not so easy when you start thinking about it! Do you keep it fun only, a little naughty, a lot naughty, achievable, not achievable?? I've been wracking my brains over this damn list for the last three months and there's now only nine left to go! So, to date, here is my list in it's boring entirety (I'm sure I'll be adding as I go along!):

1. Pull my finger out and apply for my provisional driving licence (achievable)
2. Learn to drive (achievable)
3. Pass driving test (50/50 achievable!)
4. Get my first tattoo (fun and it will freak my parents)
5. Join the gym AND stick to it (who knows if this is achievable
6. Book a fabulous holiday with D (achievable AND fun - ohhh, kill two birds with one stone!)
7. Make new friends (achievable and fun and I'm getting desperate!)
8. Play my flute again (achievable)
9. Divorce papers to be filed - this is not D who is the boyfriend, but The Psycho who is the ex-hubby (very achievable, not too sure of the outcome)
10. Celebrate the Big Three Zero with champagne, cocktails, champagne cocktails and most importantly with D

So, that's the top 10 albeit some of them very boring indeed but some are a necessity that won't get done unless I include them in a list. It will be interesting to see how many of them I manage to cross off before the egg timer comes to a stop! Oh, and if you're wondering about the a little naughty and a lot naughty entries on the list I decided to keep this one seperate and suprise D with them in due course.

I'm also a member of that other well known social networking site that everyone you meet asks if you're on and if they can be added as one of your "friends". I've added a fair few old "school friends" and even though I'm not quite 30, yesterday it made me feel very old. One old school friend, slightly younger than me has four children, which is fine, except her eldest is about to start secondary school very shortly - my tummy flipped - when did we all become old enough to have kids that age? Surely we're not long out of school ourselves? So, i've already been married, awaiting a long sought after divorce from The Psycho and now with D, but I don't have any children of my own yet. Is my biologicial clock starting to tick? Thsi is something I'm going to have to ponder on a bit longer - not sure I'm ready to face this question yet, but something I will return to no doubt in the near future.

I suppose the big question is, does hitting 30 make you old?

Just realised the time and I should be out of here! I'll ponder on the big question and come back later I think.